Many of us (particularly women) have, at one time or another, been guilty of talkin’ trash to or about our bodies.  You know – words and phrases filled with the judgment and distaste we sometimes feel when we look in the mirror, have aches and pains or find it difficult to maneuver around our physical lives. These rubbish words are plentiful and easily identifiable. You know what I’m talking about – we each have our favorite areas of aversion and ongoing allegations against the body. These thoughts are the easy ones to catch because they are so blatantly mean. And, I trust that you are doing what you can to be aware of that nasty voice and to quiet it with the deep love and acceptance that you inherently have for your body.

What about the more subtle ways you disrespect your body? hold it in contempt?  make unreasonable demands of it? wish it were anything but what it is? hate that it hurts, is sensitive or sick? are disappointed that it is not as resilient as it used to be? ignore its communication and wish it would just shut up?

These subtle messages flow below the surface of awareness, are non-verbal and much more destructive than the obvious ones. Is the answer to go after all those sneaky, subversive ways of judging ourselves, identify and then try to undo each one? Yuk! That sounds overwhelming, exhausting, unproductive, zero fun and potentially depressing.

What to do? Here are a few ideas:

Instead of thinking of the body as an IT, think of your body as SHE or HE. This takes you out of an object orientation with your body and into the possibility of relationship, partnership and mutuality. How is SHE feeling? What does SHE need?  What brings HER joy? How can I help HER? See if you can feel the difference in this simple turn of phrase.

Accept HER as she is, right here and right now. This may seem like old news, a bit trite and overused. It isn’t. The internalized programming that we can only accept her under certain conditions (thin, pretty, pain free, graceful, athletic . . .) must be arrested and put asunder – not by convincing yourself that she already has these attributes, but by letting go of needing her to be anything but what she is. Wanting her to be other than who she is currently,places you firmly in the future, unable to appreciate her or even truly experience her right now.

Yesterday during my errands around town, I practiced deep acceptance – not only for myself but for every woman I saw. I looked at each imperfectly perfect body and sent her unconditional love and acceptance. A sigh of relief moved through me and I felt waves of deep appreciation for women and a softening toward the challenges that we face, as a collective – needing desperately to relax the hardness with which we judge our bodies and nurture a more joyous and pleasurable way of being with her and caring for her.

Deep blessings to you and your body,  Carol

“ . . . God has been here all along. In the noise and in the stillness, in the upheavals and in the rafts of peace. In each moment of kindness you lavish upon your breaking heart or the size of your thighs, with each breath you take – God has been here. She is you.” Geneen Roth

Your body loves to feel good – it is constantly striving to feel its best. Through its eloquent language of sensation, it is communicating with you in every moment, letting you know about pain, tension, pleasure, need. By paying attention, you can begin to respond and support the body to feel the best that it can today. To tune in and respond to your body, try this:

• Sitting in a comfortable, supported position, close your eyes. Allow your body to relax completely. Release any tension in your face and throat. Let your belly soften and your limbs be heavy. Take a moment to let this unfold.
• Become aware of any sensations you are having in your body. Can you feel the backs of your legs on the chair? Can you feel the points of pressure where your back is against the chair? Become aware of the feel of your clothes on your skin.
• Keep tuning into the subtleties of the sensations you are having in this moment. Begin to scan more specifically. Are you feeling pain, tension, pleasure, relaxation, freedom, constrictions? Are there certain areas of your body you are more aware of than others?
• Now that you are tuned in, can you feel what you might wish for your body? “My wish for my body is that it: breathes easy; has relaxed shoulders; is free of tension, feels healthy . . .” You get the idea — whatever it is that might help the body to feel good, create a wish. How many wishes can you fulfill in any given moment?

Write some of these wishes down, play with them throughout the day and the week. See what kind of difference it makes to create and fulfill your body’s wishes.